school list, V2 (of many)

Ok, here is the revised-list of schools i am looking at, there are 13; no particular order

- Harvard University [Cambridge, MA]
- Columbia University [New York, NY]
- University of Pennsylvania [Philadelphia, PA]
- University of Texas at Austin [Austin, TX]
- Yale University [New Haven, CT]
- Washington University in St. Louis [Saint Louis, MO]
- University of Michigan [Ann Arbor, MI]
- University of California Berkeley [Berkeley, CA]
- Carnegie Mellon [Pittsburgh, PA]
- Kent State University [Kent, OH]
- University of Colorado [Denver, CO]
- University of Arizona [Tuscon, AZ]
- Pratt Institute [New York, NY]

I met with a man who's opinion matters to me in Urban Design issues and he helped me realize that i do want to pursue a degree in Urban Design. So now, i narrow the field down to maybe 10 or 8, look deeper into their programs, and retake the GRE (ICK!!!), Wish me luck! I also have to ask my letter of recomendation writers!!! Oh yeah and a re-vamped portfolio. DAMN!

If i did not cut this list down, application fees alone would be $785, DAMN, just a fun fact!

girls

So a few weeks ago i was walking along the street. i have had it pounded into my head that i am supposed to be on alert for women, but are women on alert for dudes? Or are they just going some place?

So a girl is walking down the street, she is wearing something low cut, is she looking for someone to notice her and talk to her and form a a relationship? Or simply walking down the street with something slutty on that she thinks is fashionable? When she puts on that top, does she think that "today the man of my dreams will notice my chest and ask me out"? If not, where do people meet people?

I have also wandered this, but then i realized when you meet someone new it is not about getting into the sack with that person, right? It is about finding a new person that you can get to know.

what prompted this? well there is a girl i like in a class i have. i look for "signals", and then a bit ago i realized something, i am actually here to learn and so is she. She mostly likely is not giving off any signals because she is thinking about class, is that right? Because i can only do one at a time, i think, but that is due to the male's mind not being able to multi-task.

So when i walk around campus now, after this epiphany, i don't notice near as many girls then i used to. I just figure they are all here to learn anyway and not looking for a boyfriend, right?

Or, am i putting to much emphasis on the boyfriend/ girlfriend aspect of it? DAMN! Like i told you before, confusing mind-dump blogging, brought to you by my crazy inner-monologue.

the school list

Ok, here is the long-list of schools i am looking at, there are 16; no particular order

- Harvard University [Cambridge, MA]
- University of Cincinnati [Cincinnati, OH]
- University of Virginia [Charlottesville, VA]
- Columbia University [New York, NY]
- University of Pennsylvania [Philadelphia, PA]
- University of Texas at Austin [Austin, TX]
- Massachusetts Institute of Technology [Cambridge, MA]
- Yale University [New Haven, CT]
- Washington University in St. Louis [Saint Louis, MO]
- University of Washington Seattle [Seattle, WA]
- University of Michigan [Ann Arbor, MI]
- University of Kansas [Lawrence, KS]
- University of California Berkeley [Berkeley, CA]
- Carnegie Mellon [Pittsburgh, PA]
- Savannah College of Art and Design [Atlanta, GA]
- Kent State University [Kent, OH]

a side note

I think most of these don't make sense, but like i have said before, it is more about me getting my thoughts out.

A lot of my thoughts in that state don't make a lot of sense, stream on consciousness stuff, you know?

So, maybe that might help decipher.

a 'this american life' sunday

So during my hours of driving down to bowling green the past two years i had been listening to a lot of my "This American Life" podcasts. Those of you who don't know this show, it tells the story of the "common man", most end up being a little somber, ok almost all of them do.

For the last few months, since my break up, i was unable to listen to the show. It seemed like the empathy required to listen to these stories about other peoples sadness is something i was missing.

Today i drove to my bank (a mere 50 miles away from my apartment, damn champaign) and had some time to kill. I picked up my ipod and flipped to the podcasts. Today i finally felt comfortable to be sad. After we broke up i was sad, something i had grown with was gone, like a band-aid rip gone. But today i have reached that next stage in recovery from breaking up, i think.

I guess when i was with her, i knew i could share that but before today it seemed like i was alone and it might be to hard to listen, like it would over come me with emotion and today i felt more in control.

It feels good to feel.

graduate school take two

Ok, that title might be mis-leading i did not quit school and now i am looking to get back, no the case. No, part of my original plan when i left HOK/ Saint Louis was to get a dual masters degree.

I knew that an advanced degree was in my future, a masters of architecture, which i am currently enrolled in right now and will graduate in may of 2008. I also had my eye on expanding my architectural knowledge by also pursing a degree in urban planning/ design.

So the blog title refers to me beginning my search for schools, again. However i feel now, i know so much more. More about myself, more about my talents, about what i am looking for, etc. I am very much looking forward to this process. Last time i was super nervous. I have never had a great confidence in my skills, mostly because they were never fully tested or explored. This past year has definitely pushed me to use parts of me i did not know i had.

So now i have a chip on my shoulder, but i have confidence so i am going to begin to do some research on schools like Harvard, Columbia, Carnegie Mellon, etc. Am i scared? Yes, but i really want to be the best i can be.

So stay tuned, I think i will be applying to 8 schools. I will keep anyone interested, informed.

blog of the rant?

Has this blog place become a place to rant? Not blogs in general, just mine. It seems i have not been compelled to make a blog over the past few weeks, whats up with that?

Truth be told,. i have been pretty busy, but in a good way. Last weekend, for instance i went to Chicago to hang out with one of the best people ever, we will call her Maria, since that is her name. She is wonderful and let me stay at her apartment.

Then i saw a show by my best friend Dave's (and Andy's) theatre company, Thunder and Lightning Ensemble, which was GREAT. First time to see full frontal nudity on stage. as well One bad thing did happen that night, all due to myself; i met this beautiful girl who sat next to me and i did not ask for her number, or ask what she was doing later, etc. It was mostly the as soon as she walked away i realized i might never see her again type of sucking. I even think i felt a connection, and on the surface she seemed awesome, i should have gone to a bar with her, damn me. Oh well, i guess you live and learn. My lesson, when a hot girl starts a conversation with you, make out with her.

So now, i am about to go home to saint louis, only in a few hours. They Might Be Giants, await, as well as family, friends, etc. I am looking forward to it. I am also going to visit my three thesis sites, see i am an architecture graduate student, more later, so since i am going to be near the art museum i am going to visit for a few hours. I am thinking though that i will have to enter via a secret passage since i am trying to avoid someone there, strange. I miss the art museum. It seems that after whatever happened, happened i missed the place i should avoid even more, weird right? We always want what we cant have, damn.

The point of this, was to say i wonder why i started my blog? I think i know why though, to have the ear to talk to that i feel i have been for many, many people. I think that makes sense. Is that why everyone starts a blog? To say everything that social graces will not allow you to say, or to be selfish and say what you want with no filter? The best thing about the blog is that anyone can listen, or no one, that is sooo beautiful. The blog is art.