code name; dick nower

So for some reason i just saw that a good friend commented on a blog of mine a while back. Nick Dower. What a great guy. I think he is the most successful person i know.

I will try to keep the updates regular. Now i have to catch up on your blog.

the idle mind

i know i have talked about this before, or if not i have been meaning to.

that phrase, the idle mind is the devil's playground. It seems kind of deceptive, i think the mind might just be the devil's playground.

it is hard to put a frame on what exactly made me feel so conflicted tonight but it sucks. There are these times where i can find a reason for any path life will take me in, good or bad. It is almost like i sit at home and play out every situation in my head, some are horrible and disturbing and lonely and sad. Some of these thoughts are decent ones, i do have those. But sometimes there is a middle ground and i don't know where things fall. I am still unsure where things are going or how i feel about some things, or how i should feel. blurg.

it is those doubt thoughts that are the worst i think. They prove to be the most ambiguous. Since i can not see the eventual positive or negative it is hard to categorize them. I think these are the feelings that make me feel lost. Doubting everything that i have done/ am doing/ about to do. DAMN.

oh look, i got new shoes.

hello!

Right now i am a time crunch [i.e. why there have been no posts for the last couple days], and I have some crazy deadlines. I will return soon to talk about my Thesis, my career/ life goals and my girlfriend.

Yay!

valentines day

Oh yeah. This past week was Valentines day right? Notice that? I capitalized "Valentines" day, i don't even capitalize my own name but this day [weekend] should be [and definitely will be] remembered forever.

Where to start?

Well on Valentines day, i had sent flowers to arrive at Amanda's work in the morning. Luckily she was there and it was completely a surprise, not only to her, but also to the driver whom she mauled. We talked throughout the day, all things cheedy. The thing that completely did suck is that i had to spend Valentines day in Champaign while my love was in Saint Louis. We lamented about the two of us soon being in the same city. I came into town the next day and we hugged and kissed like we had not seen each other in weeks. We went to see a play with one of my oldest friends, Dave. The most important part of the night was that i got to sit next to her all night long, hold her hand and just be close to her . . .

Saturday was the day that i had been waiting so long for. A lazy day to wake up and lounge around with Amanda and Max. Granted, we both had to get up and get things done in the morning, but by 1 we were napping on the couch. It was great.

We went to dinner after we exchanged presents [most of which i can not mention]. We went to dinner and had drinks afterward. It was so great.

I feel like my story kind of petered out near the end, but i realized that a lot of the stuff that made Valentines so great is stuff that i can't really put into words.

Valentines day was great, for everything i could tell you about and everything that i could not tell you about. I am so excited to be moving soon, the cold that i feel in central illinois can only be warmed by one person.

a new place to work

So, you want to hear something funny? It is 12 degrees here in Champaign, Illinois [where i go to school] and my building lost it's heat 5 days ago. DAMN.

Last night people were sitting in studio working with coats on, that is crazy. So this today i got up and my thesis advisor mailed me to say he was not going to be at school to meet this morning, score! I have errands i needed to run anyway, number one; change my freakin oil. I am about 2,000 miles over, yikes!!

Anyway, so i got here and they told me it would be about two hours. So i pulled out my laptop and started working, this place is pretty nice! Last time i was here they mentioned that i should bring work to-do while i waited, this time i did. I might come back here later tonight to work, who knows! Who knew.

This was lame. It is ok.

a great blog

Ok, so right now i am deeply entrenched in work on my thesis, so this post is short and something i just recently came across.

I know you all will enjoy it.


Stuff White People Like
http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/

[they are great. BTW, #34 - Architecture also #64 - Recycling]

so this is, almost, the new year

Ok, so for my loyal blog readers, i submit this entry, which i started on December 30th, for your consideration;

So as i have stated in the previous posts, i am sorry. I have been back in Saint Louis for a bit now but i have not found the time to update this, but today is a good day to do so.

Also last night i got to see some people that mean so much to me, Dave and Sarah Schroeder

Oh the updates i have to make.

I will start small, as for my career i have decided to make my first move, post graduate degree, to Saint Louis. Before i went to school i was working at this behemoth architectural firm, right now i don't think that is for me. I have decided to seek architectural licensure and to get a better experience at all of the facets of the profession, i want to work at a smaller-to-mid sized firm. A specialty? Right now i am interested in some residential and light commercial. I am really excited to find a mentor and begin my career. I am really exited to see where it takes me.

So then there is the school thing. My last semester was one of my personally worst [that might be harsh, there were some good things to happen]. It all began with my disappointing museum competition debacle [October]. From that point the semester had me questioning every step i took towards a degree in architecture. Let me tell you, that blows. My scenic design class went great, and my design seminar [the hanger pavilion] also was great, but my thesis drug me down. It seemed like with the misstep of the museum competition it gave me this opinion of myself like "i could not even finish this, i am not a good designer/ student/ architect" YUK. Again, what a shitty feeling to have to be feel completely incompetent at something you are supposed to be a professional [almost] at. I left Champaign with a few goals, academically, that i was not even able to complete. Sometimes i feel like i am so far behind that nothing i do can can catch me up, or get me settled with where i want to be.

Was the last month a complete loss? Yes. Ok, i am kidding. There were a few bright, glimmering amazing moments this last month, most sprang from a rekindling of a very old friendship. Over the Thanksgiving week i spent in Saint Louis, i began a relationship many years in the making. I had had a crush on Amanda Mckenney for i can't tell you how long [well i can actually point towards around 11 years, which coincides with our meeting the first few weeks of high school], after several long and boring [j/k] talks on the phone i decided it was time for our first date. I say "i decided" because i asked her chicken shit ass out, but in her defense, she didn't say no. Amanda truly is an inspiration to me, and she has her funny moments too. I can't tell you how wonderful it is to be able to tell her everything i have always wanted to, and be able to show her the love i have had for her for so long. Together we are mind blowing.


So this concludes the post that has been log-jaming [industry term] my blog for a while. I will be publishing more soon. I wanted to catch you all up.

ok, so i am postponing, again

So, i have just recently finished my first semester of my year of thesis work. Whew, it has been a shit-ton of work and this is the reason that i have been slightly unavailable to blog about, well, anything.

I am sooo sorry.

In the upcoming days look for a more official update. Lots has happened, i promise.

Ok, i will be back soon ....

i like my coffee like i like my women, male

That is an old joke a good friend used to say, his name, Travis Hoffman, he is cool. If you ever meet him, tell him hello from me!

So today i am sitting at home and working on my thesis and what not. Exciting, eh? The end of the semester is rapidly approaching and every time it does i end up doing some thinking. Like why did i procrastinate so much? Yeesh.

Ok, well what am i doing here? My next week is super busy but i am looking forward to a GREAT christmas break. I have LOTS to fill you in on [job, love of my life, etc], so i promise that soon i will be updating you all.

the past week

i write this blog from my future home, Saint Louis i mean, at least i am pretty sure it will be.

This week has been a mind-blowing event. It all started with my coming home to Saint Louis for my birthday/ thanksgiving break last Friday night. On the night i got back into town i went out to dinner to celebrate. We had a lot of fun and did some talking.

Recently i have been trying to do some figuring out of what i am going to be doing after i graduate and what not. The most recent choice is that i am not going to be pursuing another graduate degree at this moment. I am going to begin looking for jobs ....

Then came Saturday, a night that will no doubt live on in my memory forever, and i'm not kidding. I went on a date, a date probably 11 years [or so] in the making.

Needless to say, the date was amazing. I am no doubt going to write more of this because this woman is very important to me.

So far it has been a great break. Minus the fact that i got a quarter of the work done that i needed to get done . . . Ohh well. It was worth it though.